TYLER... glimpse of last night: leather chaps, guacamole dip, a jump rope, spray paint, and rhinestone studded pajamas.
i think you have the wrong number... but your story sounds delightful.
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
I just packed a bowl in my room and use glad press n' seal to cover it so it wouldn't dump out in my pocket .
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Why is there a cash register on top of my car?
It was good. Ended up having a 3 hr make out session with her
What is this high school
There was a lot of catching up to do bro
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
She meowed at me. Repeatedly. Then she asked what was wrong with me because I didn't understand her.
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