The old woman next to me on the el smells like cupcakes...but she doesn't taste like cupcakes
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
Don't remember anything. Melissa just said I kept saying welcome to the bat cave
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
Literally just sitting around waiting for someone to come along and fuck my chakras back into alignment
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
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