D3 body, D1 cock
Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
the semester isnt officially over until i take the batteries out of my calculator and put them back into my vibrator
just found a shoebox labled "emergency smoking box"... it has a lightbulb, 2 potatoes, a dried up flower, and a button that says "stop drop and roll". what did we do last night?!
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
As we were fooling around he told me he was conceived on this bed like it would turn me on.
Well my door is unlocked for you, I'll be in the bathtub drinking a pre-mixed bottle of margarita until I forget the degree to which my life sucks.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
he'll eat me out, but god forbid we double dip when sharing salsa
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