dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
You're earring is so big in my mouth
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
shouldve known this week was gonna be bad when I threw up in my coffee mug
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I just masturbated while eating dinner. Now who's the lazy one
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
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