xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
soo apparently i was out of money so i stayed in the bathroom for an hour-ish passing out paper towels for money..needless to say i got kicked out
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
the paramedic just looked at me like "you again?"
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
So the doorbell rang while we were banging, and I'm pretty sure the pizza man saw my dick. But hey, we got pizza.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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