Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
He sent me a video of himself jacking off. I am not kidding.
WTF??? Isn't he married??
Yeah but his wife is at a birthday party and I guess he's bored. LOL
For the whole 7 seconds I lasted, I was in heaven.
1 I really miss college walks of shame 2 I think I may have killed this girls cat
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
Randomize
