k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
I'm counting my small victories this morning. For instance, I haven't puked at work yet.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Got kicked out of the club and woke up at a frat house. Good night? Couldn't tell you. I got a date out of it I'm glad someone thinks my drinking problem is cute.
Is it bad that we left the kid passed out on the bus? I think his name was texas. I was too drunk to be questioning this.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Thanks for supporting me through Robs retirement. I'm still in shock, but your dick helped.
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