She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i have one hour to talk myself into enjoying giving him a blow job when i get home
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
3pm strippers are depressing
I was trying to be a bartender for my boyfriend and his friends last night, but I was too drunk so I just kept bringing them ice cubes in my hand.
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
I'm not gonna lie. I'm a little scared.
Good. The Jell-O shots look great.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
Randomize
