Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
He slapped my ass and hummed the jello theme song, which was followed by an overly loud "IT'S ALIVE!"
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
Are you high?
The snorkel mask makes that pretty clear
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
