Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
i looked at my phone and realized all i had said to her the entire night was misspelled variations of "NOTHING IS THE SAME" over and over. she eventually stopped replying.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Do you have pictures of my pancakes
I need to show the world
They are the pancake equivalent of eventual wife
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Why do pants feel so unnatural once you enter your own house
Explain to me how we're not being documented on? A gynecologist I saw two times 8 years ago popped up on my people you may know list on fb. What in the actual fuck?
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
We stood outside the room listening to them have sex and making meow noises
That's not right, is it?
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