Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
she had the hairiest bush ive ever seen. it looked like a spoiled head of lettuce.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
I don't want to be flamboyant (says the guy who bought a hot pink suit to be a flamingo for Halloween)--but I don't mind being a little extra.
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