that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
Thank God they found balloon boy, I was afraid that Michael Jackson was ordering take out from heaven.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
how the hell did u puke all over the magazines... do u still want me to keep them
After we fucked, her eye wouldn't stopped twitching and she could only move her hand, which she used to put her number in my phone
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
If he can't cook well I'm just gonna buy a RealDoll and twenty cats and live my own fucking life
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize
