just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
If eating a cheesesteak naked doesn't make me feel better, then I don't know what will.
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
conclusion from last night: i should wear boob glitter more often
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
