I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
Found your counterpart from cali. Walked into the bar we were in with milk and a donut, ordered a beer and said anything his group wanted was on his tab....dangerous
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
This taxi driver is not happy I am in drag
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