I'd be more interested in girls if they were more interested in anal.
one day I'm really going to regret not using the boners I got in planes and cars
About to find out how well alcohol and lazer tag mix.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
Called Jeff last night and told him I wanted to have sex in the airport terminal. Blackout Brooke definitely came out last night.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
So his shoes are still here. And there are three contacts in a case. And a shirt on the bed. I've checked my dorm and he's not here. I'm so confused.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
Randomize
