I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I wish i could 80s montage me losing weight
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
someone who i have in my phone as thundercock just said he was DTF
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I think after tonight I'm 85% lesbian
He puked all over the side of the car and the head rest behind him...and then all he said was "America."
She shit herself again. We're calling her the "Queen of Sharts".
Randomize
