that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
she passed out facedown in my lap while I was playing piano. 11 years of piano lessons finally paid for themselves.
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
Man. Apparently I blacked out between the 4th margarita and my air mattress. Asleep in my jeans at 10pm. Mom outdrank me again.
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
Last night when I blacked out, I ate Chef Boyardee. I never want to be that drunk ever, ever again.
are you really asking me this. do you KNOW how many times i masturbate in a day? yeah. wrong person to ask about romance.
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
