i just had sex bonerless
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
You skyped me last night to show me the girl passed out on your bed.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
Well, if you're anything like me you'll get a lot of ass when you turn 30, so that's a plus
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I'm pretty sure my therapist gave me the green light to fuck him.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
