he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
At this point it has been so long i wouldnt know what a dick was if it slapped me in the face.
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
It was a great party. People were literally still doing shots and playing drunk Jenga at 6am...
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Forget about letting a 70-year-old man suck on my tits for coke... telling my new boyfriend about it was the poor life choice.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
Randomize
