I just threw up in my hands while sitting on the toilet
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
...oh my god that's like anal suicide
I'm aware. I'm writing the eulogy for my colon as we speak.
Sitting in back of morning lecture drinking a daqueri from my pink unicorn cup. Pretty sure the girl next to me smells it.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
You sent me a cat video and you screaming drunkenly in my background
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
Randomize
