I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I guess you don't remember pouring tequila in the dog bowl and slurping it.
He walked in, tore open the drawer, pulled out a condom, and slammed it shut. He was that ready.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
I think that's the first time i've seen 'you look like an ugly version of my ex' work as a pickup line
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
yeah...that's gonna come up in court
i wasnt laughing because you were puking, i was laughing because three yards away there was a couple seriously getting it on
continuing my moment killer tradition in the best possible way
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
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