When the moon hits your eye like a big pizza pie, you're a dumbass
walkin home..,.jsut saw the cheshire cat
watch out for the queen of hearts
fuucck i forgot ab her
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
OMG HIS EYES ARE POOLS OF SEX. HOT SEX.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
So your brother is gay after all... Just caught him making out with my brother... Apparently he's gay too
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
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