My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
my mom and grandma just had a splits competition. slut runs in the family
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
I keep replaying commercials about kittens frolicking and was crying nonstop. WILL MY PERIOD LAST FOREVER!?
Oh my god. You have got to get off that breast feeding support group. They're on to you, dude.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
STOP HOOKING UP WITH SOCCER MOMS! YOU ARE RUINING MY REPUTATION!
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
So...a chick sucked my crank...now her dog is licking my feet. I feel like a pharoh on vacation.
Randomize
