For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
We must be getting old. All of our friends are having kids and they aren't illegitimate.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
looking back it was a good thing we were too wasted to fire up the chainsaw
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Unfortunately i'm awake, hungover, and covered in something I'm pretty sure is Easy Cheese. Send help.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
