You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
We've got 2 weeks of college left-I want to feel like Gary Busey by graduation.
Apparently I confessed my love for him last night. Also, my love for cash4gold commercials.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I need to stop acting like a drunk bitch. People are going to get the right idea about me...
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
Maybe if I ever do become a counselor, I would just implement a kind of intensive meme therapy.
I lost my wallet so I paid for my cab ride home with a sausage sandwich I found in my purse. Must have thought it was my wallet.
Randomize
