i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
this just has baby written all over it
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
I don't think he grasps the fact that I would much rather he finish inside me than on my $400 Anthropolgie bedspread
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Asking the homeless man what buss shelter is the warmest was not a good idea
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
You told your boyfriend he needed to fuck you in the tree because it would make you guys one with nature.
Did he?
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
Randomize
