I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
dont get me wrong, i like when a guy is into my boobs but when he started saying mama i want milk let me suck, i gathered my shit together and bounced.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
Ten minute nap on a staircase honey badger don't care
I love you. Mom got to wasted at the wedding that she threw up on my shirt.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Uber driver offered to have sex with me since I went home solo. - rock bottom
Not only do I have a well-defined bite mark on my arm, but I also have a perfectly clear bruise of a handprint wrapped around my arm like a tribal tattoo. Thoughts on how that happened?
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Randomize
