i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Why am I the only one concerned that there's a dog in the movie theatre?
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
This honesty session brought to you by jagermeister inc.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
But he found my shoe...that at least deserves a handjob.
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
Thursday could be nutella day. You could make me a nutella sandwich and then fuck me senseless
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Only you would offer whiskey to a man in liver failure.
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