I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
i wish starbucks made bloody marys
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
wait can you just like go into detail with this penis touching thing? like was it a hand job or was it like a day at the petting zoo or something
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
Randomize
