i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
dude i need to stop getting high. i cant afford to eat like this...
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
You insisted we help some homeless guy put up posters for his missing pet alligator so we left you there because they were really just Chinese takeout menus.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
Please tell me that SOMEONE, SOMEWHERE, has created a drink called a 'Tequila Mockingbird'. PLEASE.
Imagine Arby's curly fries spiraled around a dick
He watches the nature channel every time I am here. It's like a manipulation technique because baby zebras will get me every time.
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
