my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
i've never seen someone fall down the steps so gracefully... i think im in love
I have sucked so much dick this week I think I am going to start sweating semen
if you don't go out with us, what are you gonna do? you're gonna go home and watch biodome and masturbate to texts from your east coast boyfriend and see the facebook pictures from the party when you wake up.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
I keep having to talk dad out of putting tequila in the milkshakes.
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
Randomize
