Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
So he flipped me over and suddenly went limp then told me he was thinking about his ex.
so you punched his junk, right?
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
Glad we went casual last night, made my 1pm walk of shame through Walmart a little less obvious
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
You are the only lesbian I know that needs plan b
this hospital has no fireball
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
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