Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
Just walk straight and zig zag through cars tell you get to the road. That's where I am. Perpendicular to the doors do not make any turns
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
You should really look at your snapstory. It has us screaming " MANSION DICK! SUCK IT! FUCK IT!" By the way im currently in a mansion and need you to pick me up
He referred to our sex as "an Olympic event." My tits are bruised.
i think the people from taco bell are onto us. they had my order ready today at 3am BEFORE I even got there.
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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