you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
We're going on a mission for new porn. And ice cream.
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I have to be at work in a hour. Can you sufficiently fuck me in 35 minutes?
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
And the prospective student I was showing around had to take care of me.
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
He propositioned me for a threesome once so yeah I'd say he has what it takes to run for public office
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
Randomize
