office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I was wondering how I got the burn marks on my boobs and then I remembered....
The baked potato bra?
K, im gonna wait to get my dick pierced so we can do it as a family function.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
I sharted in my christmas pjs :(
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Like at first he was barely doing anything. So I was like harder and then holy shit he's like going all HULK SMASH on my vagina. I mean it felt fucking awesome. BUT STILL
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