The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
his dog just threw up on me too. its like im a throwup magnet to that family.
mom brought her knitting needles with her. its bad enough to be in the ER on new years, but to be with the knitting parent!?
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
jake and the teradactyl broke up, operation get high and find him a new girl who hasn't had sexual experiences with three delts simultaniously is in full effect.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
Randomize
