I'm too scared of my Fleshlight to even use it anyway.
She rubs her butt on the bed & then she growls..
Ambien does the same to me. One time that I took it, I got this huge bowl of spaghetti out of the fridge and thought it was a castle and that the meatballs were little slaves. I ate all of them first and then the noodles were the soldiers and the sauce was the water in the moat. And when I finished, I fell up the stairs and threw it all up.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
I can't make this stuff up. Your ex is singing I Will Survive on the karaoke.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I tried to light my cup as a bong. I'm done drinking
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
Randomize
