bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
This is even worse then that time I fucked a guy just because he had air conditioning.
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Don't laugh, but I might need some advice on how to ride a crooked dick.
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I know it's anime porn but I promise you the guy looks like Fred Durst
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
the fact you finally accept your bi don't shock me but as your fuck buddy I expect you girls to go family style on me
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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