i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
It was like riding a jackhammer on a train during an earthquake. THAT amazing.
i need to start using my dry humping skills. i was dry humping champion in 7th grade
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I just sneaky put a tampon in on the bus ninja-style.
......how on earth do you do that?
NINJAAAA
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
We made a pact to go to the nursing home together... that way we could stay high till the bitter end. Do you not remember?
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I think everyone at the office can tell I'm dehydrated
you mean still drunk
I've heard it both ways
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
couldn't remember his name. introduced him as 'mr multiple orgasms'
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