i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
Just because he's a soilder doesn't mean his dick is a hero.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
The brazilian leg lock that the stripper put me in was definitely the highlight of the night
I just heard myself say the sentence "I'm gonna go to the bank then take a nap". 8 year old me just slapped my present self through the space-time continuum for being an old fuck.
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
Either my boss has an enormous dick or he’s hiding a can of tennis balls in his bike shorts
Maybe I will go to the company picnic
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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