Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
is election day enough of a holiday to justify getting fucked up on a tuesday?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
Maybe he'll be famous someday and I can forget that anything embarrassing may have happened and just say that I fucked that famous guy.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
I'm studying. I have a really exciting life lol
It's hard to say that sarcastically after having sex in a movie theater
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