Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
I'm really into asian looking animals
I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
I was more than drunk as hell I have rug burn on my elbows from ninja roles on the ground..
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
PS if you want to hear something hilarious as my little sister was showing me her engagement ring I open a Snapchat from R and it's literally a dick pic. Very different points in our life
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Randomize
