i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
is it a bad thing if he can only get off when i start talking like one of the girls from Jersey Shore??
then you put baby powder on the bottom of your feet and walked to your room so "ladies would follow the footprints"
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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