that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
i walked in the apt and she was vacuuming. i asked why and she said so we could have sex on the floor. i love clean freaks.
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
Randomize
