If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
Trying not to fart in the comp lab is going to take everything i've got.
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
just did awkward shuffle by the bagels in the dining hall at 7:30 AM with a kid i've hooked up with. goodbye freshman year.
I think Memorial Day also marks the beginning of "Bikini Profile Picture" season.
I wore my underwear in the shower just in case i passed out and you had to come in and get me
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
I remember reading the word "lift" so I did. The alarn went off, and I thought to myself "what dumbass pulls the fucking fire alarm?" and then I realized it was me...
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
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