I just woke up my dad to tell him that i made out with the drummer. He wasnt as excited as I was.
I bought a goldfish, named it after my ex-girlfriend, and let it die. It's really the little things in life.
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
Im so hungover I just threw up at the sight of a CARTOON CRABBY PATTY
This is like 50 shades on steroids but with healthy relationship models and mutual respect among all parties involved and lesbian activity.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I just want you to know that i deffinately saw the baby clothes, and didn't freak out and still had sex with him. I'm going to hell.
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
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