It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Good, I don't think Coke dipped ring pops hold up in the mail anyway.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
But you''re still having sex with him. And a hobo convinced you to.
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