I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
coulda been worse. everyone in the drunk tank got free mcdonalds breakfast
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Chipotle just hit me... I want to go sit in the corner of the shower and cry until morning.
I'm so incredibly high right now the fact I am texting is nothing short of miraculous. Call the Pope. Hell make me Saint Roy, patron of stoners.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
