I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
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