I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
what if cement was really a rainbow color they just secretly paint it grey so as not to distract drivers
are you high?
I just caught Brandon licking the fake chocolate on a smores ornament
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
As if finding out the man you just had sex with is married isn't bad enough, it gets so much more awkward when his wife comes in to comfort you...
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I may have tried to encourage people to play a new game I invented last night. I called it Super Quarters. Like regular quarters, only using an AA medallion.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Randomize
