is it bad that the cashier at chick-fil-a shouted "see you tomorrow!" as i drove away?
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
So we broke my sobriety. Played life size childhood games. Broke into a cold hot tub and got laid. I think this is BFF quality!
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
We were supposed to hurry because the restaurant closed at 9. I ended up giving him a blow job so we had to eat at Arby's instead.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
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