you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
she took out her dip, threw up, and put it back in. it was like a scene from Nick and Nora's trip to the trailer park.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Get up, biotch, before I come traipsing in there to rip apart whatever god-forsaken spoon you have going on between the two of you and your dog.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
That guy was cool until he tried fighting that dude in the bow tie. I need better wingmen.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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