I just told my doc I would like to talk about my drinking problem, but that it would probably get in the way of my weekend plans.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I feel like I owe her child an apology or something after blowing my load on the tattoo she has of her.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Randomize
