Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
remind me next year to leave the 19 year old girl at home when you're going to pride. total cock block
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
He tried to do the do on me last night and my exact words were "stay away from my princess parts. they're renovating."
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Great... now even my dreams are making fun of me
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
I woke up and there was a tiny sombrero on my penis. Care to explain?
Randomize
