Are you guys doing anything tonight?
Krysta
At this point, I would light birthday candles in my vagina for free drinks
AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
He said and I quote "Had to beat one off in the Burger King bathroom before I went over." Thats somebody that takes pride in his work.
so I found out I could dislocate my shoulders on demand while I was trippin on e last night...
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
Randomize
