I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
Married on the beach in PCB while blackout drunk. Bonged beers on the sandbar for a bachelor party. They shotgunned beers at the end of the vows. How is spring break allowed to happen?
she came to the game with a camelback filled with booze. except it was only the bag part so she duct taped to her back
I now beleive the Trojan Ecstasy ad "feels like nothing's there". They forgot to add "...cause the condom broke."
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Hmm should I take my nipple rings out before my sisters wedding/family vacation in Puerto Rico where I will be with my mother 24hrs a day for four days wearing a bathing suit seemingly the entire time? Or should I just risk it and not hug anyone.
Risk it. Keep the titties tough.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Randomize
