I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
My first STD was from a foam party
I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
I woke up at 7am naked in my bathtub with the shower running. My apartment was so full of steam that my ceiling was dripping. Who thought it would be okay for me to get my own place, anyway?
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
Dude, I went home and roller-bladed into her bedroom so I didn't have a 'walk' or shame in the morning..I wouldn't talk to her unless she refereed to me as Brink
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
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