Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
I am currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
He just used the word frick. Is that a possible red flag?
You’re about to have a sober threesome with a rando at a Fenway bar?
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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