help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I forgot to tell you about my 7:30am Sunday morning run to the local convenience store to buy condoms, a du-rag and a shot glass
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
I'm going to fix your towel rack. I broke it while I was dancing on it.
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
I woke up at 6 and was laying at the top of my stairs.
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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