My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
considering i was high when my dad made me pee in the cup i might fail this one
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
This guy just showed us his webbed feet to prove that his son was actually his son
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
So the bartender tried kicking me out but i screamed im an RA you cant kick me out
I just had really awesome sex bent over the side of an air hockey table. That is all. Happy thanksgiving.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
Our lives are a motherfucking joke
I bonged champagne. And did keg stands. What in the actual fuck am I doing with my life?
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