As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Making my coffee at work this morning let out a jack daniels fark. Turn around and see the quiet guy making his breakfast
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Worst luck of my entire life. Came in my own mouth
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
No. Every time we go there, you end up getting high, then lost, then going home with strangers.
whatever. i don't need to be drunk to tell you i'd suck your dick if you had one.
Seltzer and cocaine. Life is flawless right now.
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
