"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
At least I cut out the pieces of your hair where I braided gum into it last night. Thank me later.
Dude, double fisting packs of Ramen saved my life last night
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
We set around a table in a hotel room and he spoon fed Molly to everyone there... I felt sketch for sec but then... Oh well.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
